Posts Tagged With: humor

The Laundry Monster (Five Minute Friday)

Five Minute Friday
Hi friends! It’s time to link up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.

So let’s get to it.

Today’s Prompt: LAUNDRY

AND GO!
****

It’s always there. Sneaking around, seemingly taking over every room of my house.

It’s the laundry monster.

Out of all of the household terrors, this monster is really dedicated. I’m talking employee of the century dedicated. I mean, it never quits. No matter how hard I work, at the end of the day, the laundry monster has reproduced and left more laundry to tackle the next day.

The way this monster procreates, you would think it’s part rabbit.

And it is creative. Not only does it make tons of laundry on a daily basis, it also misplaces it. I swear I started with ten pairs of perfectly matched socks… But by the time they make  it out of the dryer and into the laundry basket, we have 36 socks… NONE of which match.

This monster keeps me busy. It distracts us, and sometimes we forget about the laundry load in the washing machine just long enough so that it starts to smell musty… then we have to start all over. Or it brainwashes my Beloved, convincing him that the laundry hamper is evil and clothes must stay strewn about.

And when this monster is really feeling feisty… He puts an ink pen in the dryer.

What might a laundry fail could be a faith victory... Your choice.

The laundry monster strikes again…

But in all honesty, I have to say that the laundry monster keeps me entertained. Busy. Determined. And overall, blessed. Because we DO have tons of clothes to wear AND the equipment to wash/dry them AND closets/furniture to store them in.

So while the laundry monster might try to dictate my life, it really just brings me back to my blessings… And how God has gifted us with laundry to do.

STOP!
****

Hmmm… Interesting (and very different) prompt today. What did you think? Does your laundry monster overwhelm you or remind you of your blessings? Think about it…

As usual, thanks for stopping by, my friends. May your weekend be blessed– and your laundry be stain free and Downy-fresh.

Cleaned by Christ,
SGK

“Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean, scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life.” ~Psalm 51:7 MSG

Categories: Five Minute Friday | Tags: , , , | 4 Comments

The Wheels on the Bus

School Bus_Fotor

It’s been years since I’ve ridden on a school bus route for the sole purpose of getting to and from school.

Even now though, I still can’t see one of those big, yellow behemoths without being briefly taken back to my youthful days of riding the bus.

When I was in elementary school, we lived in rural North Central Kansas. North Central as in, seven miles from Nebraska. And rural as in, 90 (yes 90!) miles from the nearest Wal-Mart. So five days a week for year after year, I rode the big yellow school but from our house ten miles to town and back again.

But because we were so rural, our bus route was huge. Like, an hour and a half huge. And the way the route was set up, we were usually “first on, last off.” It made for some long (yet entertaining) days.

Many life lessons were learned on that big yellow beast. Like the farther back you sit, the higher you are going to bounce off the seat when it hits a pothole in the gravel road. And that, while very popular, sliding under the seats and “sneakily” jumping across the aisle were not overly safe activities. Oh, and school busses that travel on only gravel roads are incredibly dusty.

These memories make me grin and there was one day I would never forget…

The end of the route was nearing and I was the only one left on the bus. (I’m not sure where my sister was?)   So I decided to put my feet up in the seat, lay down and take a little snooze. (That was before school busses had seat belts.) I settled down, mentally mapping the route in my head waiting for Mr. Nech the bus driver to turn down our road.

I waited… And waited… But we kept going straight. Maybe my timing was off. I started to get concerned, so I popped my little head up to look out the window.

My little elementary school heart was terrified. “He missed my turn! We are headed back to town. What if I have to spend the night in the bus barn? I am gonna get hungry. And cold. WHAT DO I DO!?!”

Believe it or not, I was kind of shy back then… (A lot has changed the last two decades.) I dug down deep in my little trembling heart and squeaked out a feeble plea…

“Um… Mr. Nech?”

His eyes flashed to the mirror, then widened with surprise. He muttered something (I don’t think it was a profanity– he was a real nice guy. And even if it was a dirty word, it was justified. :-))

“Sharita! What are you still doing back there?!?!”

Mr. Nech turned the bus around at the next intersection and I made it safely home. Crisis averted.

As I was reminiscing about this humorous adventure, I (as usual) thought about our relationship with God. While it was an honest mistake, God never forgets about us like my bus driver did.

He always knows where we are going, what we are doing. He constantly cares for us and answers our feeble little cries for help.

We never need to be terrified that He will overlook us or take us down an un-legit path.

Because as the wheels of our life-bus go round and round with daily activities, God is in the driver’s seat, tenderly and diligently guiding us until that glorious day when we finally arrive HOME.

Homeward Bound,
SGK

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” ~Genesis 28:15

Categories: direction | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

10 Commandments for New Mamas

Charis wasn’t just the inspiration for this blog… She helped.

This post has been a while in the making.

After all, I HAVE been a mama for a whopping 5 months.

Oh wait. You mean that’s just the beginning? Well, even though I still have a few decades to go as a mama, I wanted to share with you some of the lessons I have learned (and am still learning) as a new mama.

You might remember the 10 Commandments mini-series I did for friends/families of pregnant gals, our hubbies and all you procreating ladies out there.  Now today, we add a new dimension.

So grab your sense of humor and your loudest AMENs… Because I have a sneaky suspicion a handful of you might identify with these 10 Commandments for New Mamas. (Side note: Most, if not all of these, apply whether you are a biological mama or adoptive mama. Just sayin.)

1. Thou Shalt give yourself grace. This is a biggie. I don’t know about you, but I know several new moms who have great dreams and expectations of what motherhood is going to be like… The snuggles, the smiles, drying tears… and that’s totally legit. However, motherhood is freaking hard. (Most rewarding thing we will ever do, but hard.) The sleepless nights, first sickness, the days where your patience is running thin… And newsflash, I’m not perfect. (My guess? Neither are you. Sorry.)  I personally have jacked up many times so far in my short time of being a mama. So what keeps me going? The promise that God doesn’t want us to be perfect… He just wants us to be faithful.

2. Thou shalt enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before… “Enjoy this time because you will wish it back.” Well, I totally agree with the enjoying this new journey as a mom to the fullest– every moment, milestone and thrilling experience. However, it is so easy to get caught up in tomorrow, worrying about what’s coming next or what we are going to do when _____ <you fill in the blank>. Just as it says in Matthew… Tomorrow has enough worries in itself. So let’s just enjoy our little one today.

3. Thou shalt not forget about other folks… And Jesus. It’s SO easy to get fully, totally, completely consumed taking care of and nurturing this little life that God has entrusted us with. However, probably the best parenting advice I ever received was in a sermon several years ago… They gave an illustration of pyramid of God being at the top, spouse second in line then kiddos next. Yes, babies take a TON of work in those early stages, but remembering God is over it all and our hubs (or other family members) are here to help us takes some of the pressure off, keeps our relationships healthy and let’s us enjoy the journey even more. (See Commandment #2.)

4. Thou shalt laugh and exercise your sense of humor. Some of the crazy things that happen in motherhood are hilarious. Maybe not at that exact moment, but the next morning when you realized your sleep-deprived zombie self tossed that 3am dirty diaper in the laundry hamper instead of the trashcan sure can warrant some grins. (As long as you catch it before you toss it in the washer.) Kids are hilarious, even the little teeny ones. So don’t be afraid to laugh at the motherhood journey… and even yourself on occasion. That, in itself, is a gift from God. 

5. Thou shalt not compare. This is a biggie, folks. We live in a competitive culture. Everyone wants bigger, better, smarter, faster. Well, guess what? Being a mama can sure suck you into this trap. You see/hear someone else’s baby weighing more at their doctor’s appointment, getting a tooth sooner, sleeping through the night, crawling quicker, blah blah blah… Then suddenly you start to worry (sin), judge the other mom (sin) or envy them (sin.) See where I’m going with this? Yes, it is a struggle to overcome our human tendencies… But I think I remember something about that with God, ALL things are possible.

6. Thou shalt ask questions. And lots of them. Anybody who is gonna get all up in your Kool-aid for asking questions bout your little one and the millions of parenting decisions/responsibilities needs to quit sipping that Haterade and step off. (I get a bit fired up about this one… Can you tell?) As far as I am concerned, there are no dumb questions, especially if putting in a 1am phone call to your pediatrician’s nurse line to get a question answered will help you sleep a bit better and rest your weary heart/mind/body. Also, ask lots of questions to YOUR doctor about what your bod is going through, and ask questions to your pediatrician. If they give you flack, I vote time to get a new doc. AND you can also ask questions to God, asking for guidance in a particular situation/mamahood moment. (See Commandment #10.) Oh, and avoid Google. Seriously. Don’t google your questions or you might never sleep again. One more note on this one– Always go with your mama-Jesus gut. Docs/experts/other parents are great, but YOU (and Jesus!) know your baby best.

7. Thou shalt embrace your new body. Let’s be honest– pregnancy may or may not have been super kind to your bod. Heck, even if you adopted your little one, your body is probably still gonna go through some changes with the lack of sleep, learning how to eat/exercise with a babe… Embracing our new physical selves can be a challenge. Sometimes you gotta wonder if things will EVER get back to normal and be the same. Answer? Nope. I mean, seriously– you grew a human being inside of you! That’s kind of a big deal. But although your bod won’t ever be the “same” it will have a new normal… And new normal is great considering you have a little one to remind you that it was all worth it. God’s temple (your body) is a blessing to begin with. (PS: See also Commandment #5… Because for those of us that becoming a mom was physically not the best, don’t be hatin’ on your FB friend when she posts that she lost all of her baby weight day 2 after giving birth and ran a marathon a week later. Just sayin.)

8. Thou shalt remember you are human. This commandment goes hand-in-hand with #1. But seriously… We need to come to terms with the fact that we cannot and will not be perfect parents. (As much as I would love for the opposite to be true.) In those moments of feeling like blah/ican’tdothis/crapimessedup, don’t listen to Satan’s voice telling you that you “failed.” Instead, hit your knees and seek God’s grace, guidance and forgiveness. After all, He is our heavenly Father so he totally gets how hard it can be– times a few billion.

9. Thou shalt not stress…. Too much. I wish I could write a rock-solid commandment of “thou shalt not stress at all ever.” Maybe for some mamas out there is a possibility, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the majority of us experience some kind of stress when they send us home with a teeny little person (minus the instruction manual) and we suddenly realize that we are solely in charge of this little one’s upbringing for say, the next couple of decades-ish. That just might bring on some stress. But as new mamas, we gotta take it one day at a time… Laying our fears at the foot of the cross, praying through them (might I recommend Philippians 4:6-8?) and TRUST that God will see us through every nerve-wracking, uncertain yet joyous moment of being a new mama.

And finally, the one that trumps them all…

10. Thou shalt pray… A LOT. (This one was also included in all 3 of the previous preggo commandment posts… Seeing a trend of importance here?) I think I’ve prayed more as a new mama than I have in all my life. I pray for wisdom. Patience. Energy. Discernment. Composure. Strength. Guidance. Rest. Encouragement. Forgiveness. Courage. And every time I pray, the task of raising my little girl becomes a little less daunting and I can see God’s fingerprint as a bigger heavenly picture comes into view.

All you mama’s out there… Can I get an AMEN?

Motherly love to you,
SGK

“May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!” ~Proverbs 23:25 NIV
PS: Be sure to pop over to Monday’s blog for a chance to enter a giveaway! (Ends 8/19/13)
ALL DONE!

ALL DONE!

Categories: motherhood | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Life-as-a-wife Survival Kit

Today I would like to share with you another fun marriage post “from the archives” with a few updates and modifications. It doesn’t matter if you are a wife, know someone who is a wife or is preparing to become a wife… I am sure you can relate… 🙂 

Be blessed, 
SGK 

****

God sure has a sense of humor. It still cracks me up almost daily that He had the idea to create man, then create woman, make us COMPLETELY different and say “Ok, live together for your entire life. Play nice. Love each other. I’m here when you need me. Good luck.”

Sometimes I think marriage needs a survival kit. Specifically, I need a survival kit as an army wife. So today is my appeal for  either 1) every man getting married to give their wife the following kit, 2) every woman getting married to get this kit for herself or 3) for the army to standard issue the following items to all army wives everywhere.

But before I get into the actual life-as-a-wife survival kit, I would like to address the survival kit needed for married men, military or otherwise. I am sure they are already feeling left out, and we certainly wouldn’t want that.

So here is the basic supplies needed for dudes in an I-wanna-be-a-husband-in-a-joy-filled-marriage kit.

1. Food. Any kind will do. Preferably red meat. Maybe a potato or two.

2. Shelter. Any kind will do. Preferably warm and dry.

3. Soda/beer and/or TV. Not any kind will do, and amounts will vary per man.

4. A passionate wife. Why? To um, ahem, satisfy, eh, their, er “urges.” (If you don’t get this one… ask your spouse. Or any random man. I am sure he can clarify.)

Welp. That was easy.

Now, back to the life-as-a-wife survival guide in reverse ranking order. (United States Military, I hope you are paying attention. Seriously. This should be standard issue when anyone marries into any branch of the military. I will be waiting by my mailbox. Oh, and attention all pastors/priests/preachers/justices of the peace/anyone who can legally marry two people– you might consider this as a prerequisite gift for those you are hitchin’ together. Just saying.)

(Note: These of course are hypothetical. They certainly aren’t based on MY experiences at all… right.)

10. An upright punching bag. With accompanying hand wraps and gloves. There will be frustrations in marriage… and this is a healthy way to, um, release some tension without taking it out on your beloved. It works. Or so I’ve been told.

9. Chocolate. Any kind will do… some might prefer a mint-chocolate combination, or dark chocolate varieties. Large quantities preferred.

8. Kleenexes. Emotional roller coaster breakdowns can happen at any given moment. I have known wives (again, not myself of course) to end up sitting on the couch tearing up a boxes of Kleenex telling their husband as she gasp’s between sobs “I…(gasp)… don’t… (hack)… know… (snort)… why… (sniff)… I’m…(honk)… cryinggggg… (waaaaaa!) *Also useful for happy and/or Holy Spirit tears as well. Those too are very common.

7. A wine glass. I have  been “told” that some wives don’t always even drink wine out of the glasses. A wife last week perhaps kinda sorta drank Diet Dr. Pepper out of a fancy wine glass. Or chocolate milk (see #9) Wives are all about feeling elegant and keeping it classy. Do what it takes.

6. A bathtub. This is best used for life-as-a-wife survival tool if combined with #9 and #7. (Just add steaming hot water and bubbles.)

5. Tylenol.  For recovering from #8 and other semi-stressful and/or overwhelming experiences.

4. A movie/TV show filter. Sometimes as a wife (especially army wife) we need a magical filter that blocks certain shows or movies from our viewing. AKA films that involve war, adultery, excessive tears, etc. They are seed planters and can be super un-survival-ish.

3. A positive go-to person. This can be a friend, neighbor, mom, family member or fellow wife. When the husband is either the cause of the issue OR is not available (which is often the case), wives need to have a pep-talker on-standby, even if it is via phone, internet, text or Skype. <Note: this is not an out to air dirty laundry. If you have an issue with your Beloved, go to HIM first…>

2. A sense of humor. Marriage can either be stressful and painful or hilarious and fun (most of the time.) Choose the latter option. It is way more productive, and requires less of #8, #9, and pretty much all of the above… and WILL help you survive. (ESPECIALLY in the military.)

1. A Bible… and the faith to go with it. This is easily the most important of all the survival supplies on this list. When our husbands are gone, busy, preoccupied, confused, deployed, injured, uncertain etc, we have ONE to lean on, and that is our Father in Heaven. Hey, even when our Beloved is in tip-top shape, God STILL needs to be our number one. The closer we (husband and wife) are to God, the stronger the marriage will be. Ultimately to survive as a wife and live in a joy-filled marriage, we must FIRST be married to HIM. Be so in love with God that your husband has to seek Him to get to you. And allow your husband to lead in your walk.

Keep the faith– it will ultimately lead you to both survival and revival of your marriage.

Living and loving my life-as-a-wife,

SGK

“Stay with God. Take heart. Don’t quit. I will say it again: Stay with God!” Psalm 27:14 MSG

Categories: marriage | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

A Ruck March Marriage

You might have noticed that several of my Friday posts have been “reposts” from previously published material. It’s not that I don’t have lots of new and crazy ideas about faith,  but rather it is due to moving cross-country and not having a promise of a legit internet connection. So doing Five Minute Friday on the spot might be a little sketch til we get settled. 

So today I would like to share with you a post that was featured as my first ever guest post… It brings a lot of great memories and I pray that it provides some encouragement in your walk with Christ! ~SGK 

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We had been married a few months. My husband and I were enjoying some one-on-one time, which was a rare occurrence due to his occupation with the U.S. Army Infantry.

I was lying on the couch and he was rubbing my feet.  Ahhh, total bliss. My sweet man looked at me and said softly, “Hey lover…”

My heart filled with anticipation, preparing for the romantic words that I knew would follow.

“You have great ruck marching feet.”

Um… Thank you? Sigh. This is our personal love story.

For all of you non-military couples out there, let me explain. A ruck march is a real-life training exercise where these soldiers fill a pack (aka their ruck) with all of their gear and march. It is equivalent to literally taking a packed-to-the-brim suitcase, weighing anywhere from 38 to 50+ pounds, strapping it on your back and walking for two to twelve (or more) miles. On purpose. Sometimes just for fun.  (I’ve done it… my personal best is 12 miles with 35 lbs on my back in about 4 hrs… I thought my legs were going to fall off. But that’s another story.)

So really, I couldn’t even be upset at my drill sergeant husband’s ruck marching feet comment. From his perspective, it really was a compliment. When it comes to our love story, I am thankful for my ruck marching feet.

Why, you ask?

Marriage is like a ruck march, whether or not you are in the military. It’s a challenge. There are ups, downs, sweat, tears, and moments that you want to quit. But on the flip side, there are seasons of amazing joy upon reaching a checkpoint or conquering that “hill” that you have been climbing together. It’s a workout—but when you reach your destination, it’s SO worth it.

In our ruck march military marriage, desertion is not an option. Sure, there have been a few occurrences when my husband has had to take my hand and pull me through a desert. Other times, I have had to remind my beloved to stop and check the map. (And we all know how much guys love asking for directions…)

We’ve been through deployments, separated by months of training, dealt with incredibly long hours, been through a miscarriage, moved to a new time zone (or 3!), survived some difficult leadership situations and recently welcomed our first baby into our life. Our entire relationship has been one big ruck march. People ask, “How do you do it?” I really don’t have an answer for that other than God. He is the foundation of our relationship. God is OUR Commander-in-Chief in this ruck march marriage.

We try not to get wrapped up in holidays, birthdays and anniversaries– yes, we acknowledge them, but more times than not my Beloved’s call as an infantryman prevents us from making big, romantic plans. Bottom line: we love each other consistently, treasure each other’s company, go on dates and feel inexplicable joy all year-long, not just on anniversaries and holidays. We are crazy about each other and madly in love with God. He will be the one to help us reach our final destination in this ruck march marriage. Till death do we part. And until that point, we will keep on marching. “Left… left… left, right, left…”

Marching with Him,
SGK

“The Lord will march out like a champion, like a warrior he will stir up his zeal; with a shout he will raise the battle cry and will triumph over his enemies.” ~Isaiah 42:13

Earlier this year I was able to "pin" my Beloved when he was promoted to Sgt First Class... This experience may or may not have included a secret hand shake, fist pound and a big ol' smooch.

Earlier this year I was able to “pin” my Beloved when he was promoted to Sgt First Class… This experience may or may not have included a secret hand shake, fist pound and a big ol’ smooch.

Categories: marriage | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bubble Wrap Faith

Oh bubble wrap. The magical packing material that has been causing squabbles among siblings for decades.

Or was that just my sister and I who fought over who got to pop those addictingly-fun little bubbles? Either way, ya just gotta love the multi-purposeful qualities of bubble wrap.

bubble wrap

Via CMMahon @ Flickr

As I was pondering this idea (again, at 3am… sorry, apparently 3am is prime time for random thoughts to enter my mind– blame it on the new-mama sleep deprivation) I, as usual, started thinking about how bubble wrap can relate to our faith.

Random. I know. Sorry. It’s how I roll.

Anywho, I considered the topic at hand… when I was thinking about it, I was struck by the idea of motherhood and how the first few weeks of baby girl’s existence  I was (ok, still am) so twitchy and overprotective… And I really thought at one point the possibility of how to “bubble wrap” her from this world to keep her safe.

Then I heard God’s voice: “Beloved daughter… that’s not your job. You are called to love her and care for her– but in this world, you will all have trouble. I am her protector. Trust me.”

Gulp. Ok. Heard you, Father.

Then, my random thoughts took me to the scene from Finding Nemo where Marlin the clownfish (Nemo’s dad) and Dory are in the mouth of the whale. Marlin starts to yell at Dory and the following scene ensues:

Marlin: “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!!”
Dory: “Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.”
Marlin: “What?”
Dory: “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.”

Dory, although she can’t remember Nemo’s correct name to save her tail, makes a pretty good point. And it holds true not only to “real life” parenthood but also our walk of faith.

Sure, we all wish nothing <specifically: bad or challenging> would ever happen. But if that were true– where would we stand with God? I don’t know about you, but I am typically closest to God when things are the toughest.

Ultimately, Jesus is our bubble wrap. He protects us. He guards us. And He makes sure we get to our final destination (ahem, heaven) in one piece.

But in order to really live a bubble wrap faith life, we have to let go of our need to be the bubble wrap in both our lives and the lives of those around us. We can’t protect those around us from all harm. We can’t control others to make perfect decisions. (Heck, our decisions aren’t perfect either– even if we think we know best.)

We have to let go and let Jesus do the guarding and protecting. We have to trust Him that He knows what He is doing (He does) and loves us beyond all comprehension.

In what areas of your life do you try to be the bubble wrap? How would letting go of that desire to be the bubble wrap free our spirits?

Be encouraged, friends. Letting go and letting Jesus be our bubble wrap isn’t an overnight process. (Believe you me, I am still working on it!) When we transition from control to trust, we can rest assured that He will not only carry us to our final destination– but we will be more protected and secure than ever before.

That’s what I call a special delivery handled with care.

Wrapped up in Christ,
SGK

“He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled.” ~Joshua 24:17

Categories: trust | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Jesus’ Funniest Videos

Let’s all be honest… Sometimes life is HILARIOUS.

I grew up watching America’s Funniest Home Videos (originally with Bob Saget.) While I never really understood why people thought that dudes getting hit in their uh, nether regions was so funny, I still enjoyed it. Plus it was relatively family friendly.

For me, most of the funniest things came from young kids.

Which brings me to share with you some of the hilarious things I did when I was younger. (Too bad we didn’t get them on tape. Maybe we would be a few thousand bucks richer?)

As a young un, I came up with the craziest ideas. And was kind of gullible. One of my uncles once told me that cockleburs were porcupine eggs… So I took a bucketful of them to school for show-and-tell. Teacher was amused… I was embarrassed. (And my mom still loves to tell that story.)

Or there was the occasion when I convinced my younger sister to stick her tongue to the iron wrought handrail on our front porch on a frosty morning… At the exact moment that she obliged my request, the school bus pulled into the drive. I left her stuck to the rail fending for herself. (She still made it on the bus that morning, thanks to my Mom’s quick thinking…) That was the first time I ever got grounded. Ahhh, memories.

Then there was the time I came to school really mad. My teacher asked me what was wrong. I told her that I couldn’t believe what my parents did after I went to bed at night!!! Her eyes got really huge… she shifted in her chair… I said “THEY EAT ICE CREAM WITHOUT ME!!!” (You thought I was going in a much different more awkward direction, huh?)

This would have SO been me... if my parents didn't eat the ice cream without me. (But it's fine. I'm not bitter.)

This would have SO been me… if my parents didn’t eat the ice cream without me. (But it’s fine. I’m not bitter.)

ANYWHO…

Life is way easier to deal with if we can laugh through the crazy moments. In fact, my friend Kayla and I were once having a discussion about this very topic– and we decided that there has got to be a series in heaven called “Jesus’ Funniest Videos.”  (JFV for short…)

Can’t you see it? Jesus and His disciples chillin’ out up there, watching the action on earth. Peter yells for them to push pause for a second because he’s waiting for the popcorn to get done… Jesus is giddy with excitement to watch the next ridiculous thing we do and the lesson we learn in the process.

Now don’t get me wrong– I know God (and company) sure doesn’t get pleasure from our pain and failure. But sometimes we really do ridiculous things that we know better and/or could have been prevented if we would have just listened/learned.  In the aftermath, it brings a chuckle to us all.

It’s in those moments of “Seriously– did I just do that– AGAIN?!” that we can laugh at ourselves. Just think of ourselves as being the star of the latest JFV episodes. Sometimes we just don’t get it. And when we screw up, there’s nothing else to do but laugh at ourselves and move on.

In what areas of your life do you feel like a main player in JFV? What’s been your latest hilarious slip up? Be bold and give us all a great laugh by commenting below.

We can’t take life too seriously… Because none of us get out of it alive. But when that day comes, we are no longer the main characters in JFV– but we get to be spectators in heaven, looking down and enjoying the hilarious adventures of being a Christian.

Living and laughing,
SGK

“On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence.” ~Psalm 100:2 MSG

Categories: funny | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

A Simple Gift… In case you forgot

I LOVE getting gifts. Even more so– I love giving gifts. Although it’s not my primary love language– sometimes it sneaks its way to the top. And over the last year and a half or so of blogging and doing online ministry (time flies!) we have continually mentioned God’s great gifts– big and small. (In fact, I continue to work on my 1000 gift list inspired by Ann Voskamp’s book. As of this post, I am over 1500 and still going strong!)

The other day, I was digging through some of my archived blogs– and ran across this one. It made me laugh– and encouraged my heart… so I though that re-sharing it was in order.

I pray it speaks to you– so read, share, comment, enjoy. You know the drill.

Oh– and thanks for being such a blessing and gift in MY life, dear reader!

Jesus Fist Pound,
SGK

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gift

Gifts can come in many, many forms from that engagement ring promising a lifetime of commitment to that forced smile when we open up a “fashionable” sweater from Grandma. God’s gifts also come in many shapes, sizes and colors…

I ran across the following a few weeks ago when working on a project for church and was reminded of it today. The Lord loved us enough to create laughter and allow us to feel joy in our heart. (That’s a gift) He has also given us GRACE. (There’s another one) Sometimes he combines them. (One of my favorite gifts! )

How to Get Into Heaven 

A woman dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Peter says to the woman, “Here’s how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you’ve done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is 100 or more, you can come in.” 

“Well,” says the woman. “I was happily married to the same man for 52 years. I never looked at another man. I was attentive and loved him dearly.” 

“That’s great,” says St. Peter. “That’ll be two points.” 

“Hmmm,” says the woman. “This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully.” 

“Wonderful,” says St. Peter, “That’s worth another point.” 

“One point!” says the woman. “Okay, okay. I was involved with a woman’s prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison, at least monthly, and shared Jesus with them.” 

“Wow!” says St. Peter. “That’s another two points!” 

“Only two points!” says the woman. “At this rate, it’ll be only by the grace of God that’ll I’ll ever get into this place.”

“Bingo!” says St. Peter. “That’s 100 points! Come on in.”

Praise God for the gift of His grace… because just like this example above, we can’t earn our way into heaven– but he has given us that nonrefundable present. It seems like such a simple gift with no fancy wrapping paper or ribbon, but instead by the body of Christ.  That alone means so much!

No Receipt Needed,
SGK

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” –Ephesians 2:8-9

Categories: Christ, faith, gifts, heaven, works | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

10 Commandments of Pregnancy: For the Preggos Themselves

Over the past several months, my beloved hubby and I have been privileged to experience the joy of pregnancy. This lil one has been cooking for 8 months now– and we have learned A LOT. (I know, I know– the real learning doesn’t start til he/she gets here. But we have learned/grown in the meantime.)

I have published a couple of humorous (yet true) posts in the past dealing with the 10 Commandments of Pregnancy for Husbands and 10 Commandments of Pregnancy for Friends/Family/Strangers. Both articles have been well-received, but honestly, I was feeling a bit left out.

That’s right. Today’s post is all about the 10 Commandments of Pregnancy… for the preggos themselves.

Some of you might be saying, “Wait, wait, WHOA! I am (or have been) one of the preggos… Don’t tell me what to do. I will cut you.”  

RELAX. Back the procreation-truck up. This isn’t a list of do’s and don’ts or crazy opinions. And yes, as a pregnant person myself, I totally agree with the idea of doing what we want– to a point. (Even I need boundaries. Or things are gonna get crazy all up in here.)

So don’t be offended by these soft boundaries or thoughts… Just make sure your sense of humor is intact… and laugh right along with me 🙂

Let’s do this.

1. Thou shalt not make irrational weight excuses… or get too caught up with the numbers on the scale. This one goes both ways– I have talked to former pregnant gals who gained excessive weight during pregnancy… not because they were underweight to start with or had health complications, but just strictly because of their choices. I’ve heard some crazy excuses (I was stressed/tired/moody/it just made sense to eat three bags of Doritos at once.)  I totally get the semi-crazy eating habits every now and then– but for 9 months straight seems a little much. Also, for some of us who are rather cautious about trying to be responsible and NOT gain too much weight, that’s great– but we shouldn’t go so far as to lose our minds every time we step on the scale at the doctor’s office. We are, after all, growing a baby!

2. Thou shalt give thyself grace. This ties into #1… and really to all of these commandments. While the baby growing part of pregnancy is kind of science-based… the method/moods/behavior aren’t so much. We all have our good and not-so-good days. Give yourself some grace. Jesus does!

3. Thou shalt not overdo use of the “Pregnancy” card. This “card” is a powerful tool in our arsenal… if played correctly, it can earn us foot or back rubs from our beloved, a bowl of ice cream in the evening after supper (that we did not have to scoop) and help around the house. HOWEVER… once we start to abuse the pregnancy card, it loses all power. Play it carefully.

4. Thou shalt use the pregnancy card– and accept help when needed. Sigh. Swallowing our pride is hard (or maybe it’s just me.) We don’t have family within a thousand mile radius, so I have been forced to get over my desire to do it all… We are made to live in community. So live it up. Let someone cook you supper and offer to throw you a shower. Or give you things for your new addition.  Oh, and on a related note– definitely play the preggo card take advantage of the “expectant mother” parking– especially when you are rocking a pretty sweet waddle.

5. Thou shalt not freak out.  Ok, this commandment is MUCH easier said than done, especially as a new mama. It seems like every day of pregnancy, there is a new, awkward symptom that makes you raise an eyebrow and wonder “Is that normal?” Chances are… it probably is. Pregnancy is beautiful– but weird. Regardless of what you are going through, don’t freak out. Pray about it and call your doc if you are super concerned… And even if something crazy is going on– don’t freak out. God’s got your back! Oh, and on that note…

6. Thou shalt avoid Google at all costs. If you google your questions and symptoms, then click on the first few sites, it WILL make you freak out. Every time. Guaranteed. Even if your inquiry is as simple as “how to install a crib bumper.” The top 50 sites will be about how crib bumpers cause SIDS and you will spend the rest of the evening rocking in your chair half panic-sobbing to your mom on the phone asking if you are going to be  terrible mother because you want a crib bumper in the nursery. (Not that I would know…)

7. Thou shalt embrace the new you. Most preggos are adorable. Assume you fit in that category and work your new look. It’s one of the few times in our lives where we can gain 30 pounds in 9 months and still look stunning. And if the “new you” is feeling like a beached whale as you approach the end– keep in mind that there is a profound purpose to your body changes– and soon you will get to meet him/her!

8. Thou shalt reserve the right to complain– every now and then… but not too much. This goes along with commandments #3 & #4. It’s true that pregnancy is uncomfortable– from the lack of sleep, to heartburn, to ahem other digestive issues, to swollen body parts… It can be super bluck somedays. But on those days, cash in your preggo card to get a massage from the hubby… Or perhaps spend a little more time with Jesus asking for help (That one ALWAYS works.)

9. Thou shalt enjoy the experience. You have been chosen to be a very important part of an incredible Jesus arts and craft project… It is truly a miracle. Live it up, sister!

10. Thou shalt pray–a lot– and depend on God– at all times. Not only can we calm our potentially anxious hearts by turning to God, but we can ask for support and protection of those sweet people in our lives who are walking with us in this journey. We can give thanks. We can pursue Him daily. We are all in this together… And Jesus is behind it all. Don’t forget that… (And pregnancy brain is no excuse 😉 )

Can you relate? Which commandment is most true (or untrue) for you? Do you have your own to add? Comment below.

Oh… And let me know how I can pray for you– preggo or not…

Thanking Jesus for this Baby Bump Miracle,
SGK

family pic preggo

“I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.” ~Psalm 131:2 MSG

Categories: baby | Tags: , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Hey, Soul Sista…

As of late, I have been stuck on the term “soul sister.” Or, more appropriately to my pronunciation, “Soul Sista.” (It just makes me feel cooler.)

Interestingly enough, we have been challenged by a digital soul sista Jen over at Finding Heaven Today with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood to share on our blog what “sisterhood” means to us… So for all my gal readers, get ready to have some fun! (And for all my dude readers… buckle up for an inside look at what sisterhood is all about… take some notes. You might learn something productive and be able to impress that lady in your life with new info later. Just sayin’.)

Ready? Here… We…. GO!

Sisterhood is… a bond that can’t be broken– by miles, life circumstances, or time.

Sisterhood is… the inside jokes that years later still make you belly laugh so hard you cry.

Sisterhood is… understanding that biological relationship has nothing to do with your bond.

Sisterhood is… an automatic and continual chain of support, love and prayer.

Sisterhood is… the permission to always send random text messages no matter what time of day, including things like “BAH, HORMONES!” or “I need chocolate.”

Sisterhood is… grace given when undeserved.

Sisterhood is… knowing that sometimes all you can do is offer a hug and a prayer… and that’s ok.

Sisterhood is… staying up til all hours of the night in “comfy clothes” eating an entire bag of Dove Chocolates together– then providing justification to each other on why consuming the entire bag was necessary.

Sisterhood is… rejoicing together, mourning together, hoping together, praying together.

Sisterhood is… the mutual agreement of cashing in your “crazy woman cards” to one another every few months… and knowing that after a little while of sobbing, snotting, stomping and tearing up a box of Kleenex that you are prepared to do the same in a few months when it’s her turn.

Sisterhood is… sharing those loving words of Jesus-based encouragement at the exact moment they are needed.

Sisterhood is…  “girl dates” of epic proportions– from self-pampering, to quiet coffee dates, to rolling down the windows, cranking up the radio and singing at the top of your lungs.

Sisterhood is… laughing off the ridiculous life decisions you make in a moments notice: The idea to dye your hair ridiculous blonde senior year of high school…  when you got a tattoo on your foot… or the time you decided to go camping in a pasture with minimal supplies…

Yep... My foot. Soli Deo Gloria. To the Glory of God alone.

Yep… My foot. Soli Deo Gloria. To the Glory of God alone.

Sisterhood is… a true blessing from God that reflects His love in ways we can never fully comprehend.

These are just some thoughts on what sisterhood means to me… Can you relate to any of them? What does sisterhood mean to you? Why is it special? What are your fondest memories with your soul sistas? I would love to hear all about it– leave a comment below!

Today, I’m thankful for all of my “Soul sistas” out there who have walked with me in previous seasons of life and into the current moment. You come in all forms, from real life to digital and even some in between. Just wanted to say thank you and I love you…

Fist pound to my soul sistas,
SGK

“Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” ~Proverbs 27:9

Categories: Soli Deo Gloria | Tags: , , , , , , | 24 Comments

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